Sunday, December 24, 2006

No Eggnog This Year

Nope, not for me. I’ve sunk to new lows. My holiday drink of the season is V8 with Tabasco and fresh garlic, served hot in a holiday mug (okay, it’s not a holiday mug, but it has some red on it). It’s fantastic! Really, you should try it. Okay, maybe not. In fact, it is horrendous. Not even vodka could make it worthwhile. But, some quack website claims that it helps cure/avoid sinus infections, so I’m giving it a go. Don’t try this at home, kids.

As those of you who know me will remember, last year I spent Christmas Eve in Bethlehem, outside of the Church of the Nativity, in pouring down freezing rain. Then I spent a week working with a nonviolence conference in an unheated school, also in Bethlehem. By New Years Day I was ragingly ill, and it took me two months and 3 rounds of antibiotics to kick it. So, this year I’m taking matters into my own hands. I’ve had my first nasty cold of the season, and I can feel everything settling not-so-comfortably into my sinus passages. Well, screw that! I’m going to drink tomato juice/Tabasco sauce/garlic beverages; I’ll lean over a bowl of steaming water with a chador over my head to keep the humidity in; I’ll take the goddamn vitamin C and Echinacea and extract oil of a newt’s testicles and whatever else those crunchy home-remedy types recommend – just please don’t make me suffer as much as I did last year.

Who needs eggnog anyway, with all its fat calories and alcohol? Or holiday peppermint mocha lattes? Those drinks are for wusses.

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