Saturday, May 26, 2007

Bittersweet

People keep asking me what my plan is once I return home - I swear it feels like I'm finishing undergrad again. And yet, it feels even more lame now than then to say - I don't know. I really, honestly have no idea what comes next. In some ways it is very liberating, and in others absolutely terrifying.

Another thing people keep asking is how I feel about leaving Afghanistan. I am thrilled to be going home, at least for a while, but I suspect I'm going to get itchy feet pretty quickly. Will I miss Kabul? I'm not sure. I'll certainly miss Nathan, and the sense of purpose that I had while here. I will definitely not miss the airplanes and helicopters flying low enough to make the floorboards shake. If I'm honest, I suppose I will miss the 'get out of jail free card' that I feel like I have here - things that I haven't dealt with or have been put on hold can't wait anymore. Betsy has a saying - only missionaries, mercenaries, misfits and the broken hearted work in places like Afghanistan. It's not that I've been running away from anything in particular, but it is nice to be 'away' sometimes...

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Wow! That is such a lot to be feeling, all at once. It's an understandable feeling, one that, as we struggle through this harsh reality called life, is familiar to many. (And to those who have no understanding of that feeling, well, you guys suck- Tell us how you managed that.) Anyway, as you always do, you will find your way.

Anna B said...

hi there, I'm a screenwriter working on a script that takes place in Afghanistan and I've been reading your blog to do some research on my relief worker character. I would love to open up an email conversation with you to get more insight. I understand you've just left Afghanistan and are probably getting yourself situated back in the States, so just contact me whenever you have time. I would also be happy to give you more information about myself and about the script. I can be reached at aboudinot at yahoo dot com. Thank you!

Danielle&Hannah said...

Just reading your blog.. all the very best to you :-) and thank you.